Someone posted this on the Sober Recovery message board. It is 1000% true and something that I finally realized.
Maybe if you try and think of codependency and alcoholism as similar problems, then you can understand why it is just as hard to get rid of someone you love no matter how much of a negative influence they are on our lives, as it is to recover from alcoholism.
They are addicted to alcohol and we are addicted to them.
They have denial about how alcohol negatively affects their lives, and we go through denial about how they negatively affect our lives.
They know something is wrong with their lives, but can’t put a finger on it…for a while, and we know something is wrong with our lives, but can’t put a finger on it…for a while.
They have to accept they need alcohol out of their lives for it to be healthier, and we have to accept that we need unhealthy attachment out of our lives before we can be healthier.
You see what I mean?
The steps to getting better are similar as well.
We admit we are powerless over THEM.
We turn inward and become selfish about our recovery.
We stop doing things for others that hurt ourselves.
We rediscover our self worth.
And then, we remove what is affecting our serenity and growth.