I was kid-free on New Year’s Eve, so my evening consisted of ice cream, a brownie mug cake, and watching Fifty Shades of Grey. I’ve never read the book and I know the movie itself had horrible reviews, but I was sucked in almost immediately. Who can deny the hotness of Christian Grey in all aspects? Physically attractive, successful, and an alpha male. I finished the movie around midnight, and then immediately had to watch Fifty Shades Darker, which I liked even more.
When XAH and I first separated nearly 2 years ago, dating and a new relationship could not have been further from my mind. At that time, I felt so broken and my self-esteem was shattered. Since then, I put a profile on Tinder, but haven’t been very impressed with the options for men.
Last month, I decided to go also list a profile on Bumble, which is the site that requires the women to make the first move in starting a conversation. I was pleasantly surprised to find better prospects. I made some matches, but did not start any conversations.
As I watched the movies last night, I found myself thinking about finding a man and envisioning myself in a relationship. I think I’m close to being ready to date, but of course, I have a bit of fear. I guess fear of being rejected and fear of putting myself out there. Beside the fact it’s been forever since I dated, I am also very inexperienced when it comes to relationships. I had never had a boyfriend before I met XAH.
So, today I am setting an intention that I will meet a wonderful man in 2018 and will be in a healthy, loving relationship by the end of 2018. My future partner will:
- Have no children and be content not having children of his own
- Be a wonderful father figure and welcome my children into his life
- Not be dependent on alcohol or any other substances!
- Be at least 6 feet tall
- Be physically attractive
- Be successful and financially independent
- Own his own home
- Have a close and healthy relationship with his family
- Take care of his health
- Have strong social connections with others
- Be passionate about something outside of work (have hobbies)
In taking steps to find this man, I will spend January and February allowing myself to focus on my business and health and getting those things on track. In March, I will be active in my online dating and will go on a date.
In 2018, this man and I will go on a vacation somewhere warm.