intentions for finding love in 2018

I was kid-free on New Year’s Eve, so my evening consisted of ice cream, a brownie mug cake, and watching Fifty Shades of Grey. I’ve never read the book and I know the movie itself had horrible reviews, but I was sucked in almost immediately. Who can deny the hotness of Christian Grey in all aspects? Physically attractive, successful, and an alpha male. I finished the movie around midnight, and then immediately had to watch Fifty Shades Darker, which I liked even more.

When XAH and I first separated nearly 2 years ago, dating and a new relationship could not have been further from my mind. At that time, I felt so broken and my self-esteem was shattered. Since then, I put a profile on Tinder, but haven’t been very impressed with the options for men.

Last month, I decided to go also list a profile on Bumble, which is the site that requires the women to make the first move in starting a conversation. I was pleasantly surprised to find better prospects. I made some matches, but did not start any conversations.

As I watched the movies last night, I found myself thinking about finding a man and envisioning myself in a relationship. I think I’m close to being ready to date, but of course, I have a bit of fear. I guess fear of being rejected and fear of putting myself out there. Beside the fact it’s been forever since I dated, I am also very inexperienced when it comes to relationships. I had never had a boyfriend before I met XAH.

So, today I am setting an intention that I will meet a wonderful man in 2018 and will be in a healthy, loving relationship by the end of 2018. My future partner will:

  • Have no children and be content not having children of his own
  • Be a wonderful father figure and welcome my children into his life
  • Not be dependent on alcohol or any other substances!
  • Be at least 6 feet tall
  • Be physically attractive
  • Be successful and financially independent
  • Own his own home
  • Have a close and healthy relationship with his family
  • Take care of his health
  • Have strong social connections with others
  • Be passionate about something outside of work (have hobbies)

In taking steps to find this man, I will spend January and February allowing myself to focus on my business and health and getting those things on track. In March, I will be active in my online dating and will go on a date.

In 2018, this man and I will go on a vacation somewhere warm.

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2018 Resolutions

It seems I have made the same resolutions for the past, oh, I’ll say ten years, and nothing ever happens.

But 2018 WILL be different.

Why? Well, February will mark 2 years since I separated from XAH. I’ve grown and healed so much during this time. I can tell that I am no longer in the thick of the healing phase. I am ready to move on. So, here is my list of 2018 resolutions/focuses/goals for the year. I plan to revisit this post monthly and provide updates on how everything is going (hopefully to keep me more accountable!)

Beauty/Fashion: This may seem like a silly category for goals, but after the beating my self-esteem took over the last 15 years, focusing on this area of my life has really made me feel better.

  • Master curling/waving my hair
  • Master applying/wearing false lashes
  • Simplify my wardrobe and come up with staple pieces
  • Get my face lasered by dermatologist to remove age spots
  • Stop wearing my glasses all the time and start wearing my contacts

Motherhood

  • Take both kids on at least one vacation
  • Spend more alone time with each child
  • Less ipad/screen time for the kids and more outdoor activities
  • Come up with more crafts and other types of enrichment activities to do with the kids
  • Spend more time actually playing with my children

Social/Relationships

  • Go on at least 12 dates (yikes!)
  • Go to at least 6 events through my Single Parents Meetup group
  • Have people over to my house for drinks/appetizers. Socialize more with the neighbors

Business

  • Stop the feeling of constant overwhelm in my business by being more focused/productive during the workday
  • Make all of my quarterly tax payments to the IRS on time
  • Gross at least $150,000 this year
  • Establish a monthly newsletter to send to prospective referral sources and former clients
  • Read at least 12 business-related books

Financial

  • Get my retirement account up-to-date
  • Establish savings accounts for vacation and house improvements
  • Less spending in general (aka simplify/life more minimalistic)
  • Get a new car

Health

  • Reach weight goal of 105 pounds by continuing intermittent fasting and lowering intake of sugar/carbs
  • Wash face, brush teeth, and floss every night
  • Workout consistently: at least 3 days per week
  • Do yoga
  • Focus on cooking more healthy meals for the kids
  • Be in bed by 9pm consistently
  • Meditate daily

Personal

  • Overall, minimize clutter and live more simply. Don’t buy things I don’t need. Make a constant effort to get rid of clutter/old items
  • Photography and memorykeeping: Take more photos, improve in my photography skills, complete a 2017 scrapbook, keep photography blog updated, start making videos
  • Wake up at 5:30 am to give myself a better morning and some time to journal/blog/write
  • Social media: less time on Facebook and less posting
  • Be more thoughtful and plan ahead for things like gift-giving
  • One-by-one, accomplish house tasks and work towards decorating and having a polished home
  • Take at least one vacation without the kids (perhaps with a new romantic partner?!)
  • Face fear, worry less about what others think
  • Journal and record my moments of gratitude daily
  • Update this blog regularly
  • Less watching tv and more reading
  • Read at least two fiction books for personal entertainment

What are some of your resolutions? I wish you all the best for happiness and peace in 2018!